sluts , hoes , whores ..

HAHA , im sorry that you have to call people names to make yourself feel better. just because i don't expose as much skin as you do everyday doesnt mean im a bitch or whatever . call me a hoe ? clearly youre blind. youre the one going around with super super low tank tops and small ass booty shorts or whatever . ugh , people are so stupid.. more like girls are so stupid . gosh . i just wanna put a big BIG extra LARGE sweatshirt on those slutly whores . haha , bitches have some dignity for yourself. didnt your mom ever teach you about self respect ? im sorry i have respect for myself and you dont. its pretty sad seeing girls at such a young age become total whores . i feel bad for the guys you girls will marry because by the time they get you , youll be infected with STDs HIV or some nasty shit like that; ew. You girls out there should be ashamed youre embarrassing yourself, your family, everyone around you. Open your fucking eyes before you end up getting raped or some shit .

how ive been missing you ..

its been about 5 months that you've been gone.. and 5 months left til i get to you see you again . You recently called a few days ago... and the sound of your voice sunk my heart because i can tell that youre unhappy by the tone of your voice. &I havent heard your voice for 5 months straight until that day. you didnt know how happy i was to hear you call me "asshole" again . You will never know how happy you made me when you told me you missed me. That was probably the first time in my whole life that i have ever heard you say that to me. Oh brother, how i miss you. I have so many things to tell you, i have so many questions to ask you, i need you to come back.. i need to tell you my problems so you can listen and help me. I wish you were able to call more often and talk longer. i wish youre able to come home sooner. i miss the way you bossed me around and called me names. i no longer feel like a little sister. i want to tell you i love you and have you respond "shut up monkey balls" i miss that. i want to hear you "try" to sing but then fail and sound like an elephant. i miss everything. and to think i would enjoy you being gone.. not at all. Please stay safe and come home soon brother. I would hate it to know that youre hurt while over in iraq. Stay strong. :/ The family misses you and loves you very much <3

Nights of the past ,

Oh my , don't I just miss those good ol days in the past . When it was the 4 of us. You guys don't know how much I miss those movie nights. Laying and sitting around with a cup of ramen noodle giggling and sharing stories. Being extra loud in the middle of the night not even caring who we woke up. Watching those scary movies and falling asleep on oneanothers shoulders . Those days brought us the closes and one day everything just stopped. Not even a warning was given . Geez when did it all stop ? Why did we all break apart ? We all went our own ways . Gosh if I could I would give up anyday for another one of those days. I miss you guys !

re-opened door ,

What a relief , i really thought my trust was just gonna disappear . BUT , i pulled you back into my life and look what you did ! You once again opened that door of trust , thank god . When i saw your name on my phone calling ... dangggggg . I was shock but also very happy ! I missed you like crazy . Not talking to a best friend that long , omg i dont even know how i lasted . When you opened up to me like you usually do , i knew then that your trust for me was still there . Cause you just OPENED UP like that with barely any thought to it <3 You know how that makes me feel ? GREAT ! FANTASTIC ! It reassures me that maybe there still is hope and thats all i was searching for . Thank you thank you thank you ! ♥

But then again , theres just that ONE thing that gets me wondering . Should i or shouldnt i ? :O

Losing a close friend ,

So tell me , how life without me ? Let me be honest with you , my life without you it's pretty calm and drama free , but you wanna know something ? I miss having you around . I miss hearing you complain to me about your stupid choices . I miss helping you with your over dramatic problems . I miss telling you that you're such an idiot . I mostly miss how you and I were just so close that when I needed to cry you were there and when you had to vent you came to me out of anyone else . But I can't do anything about it now . I was hoping you would have pulled me back and tell me that you wished I stayed in your life . I really miss that kid that always stood by my side and when I needed something you always offered to get it for me . Even when I just needed a hug you always offered to bus it to my house just to give me a hug to comfort me , you didn't care that you lived far away . You'd do it anyways . Because that's just the type of person you are when you talk to me anyways . Point is , i miss you and i told you it'll be hard to live without my special left hand <3

Have some manners ,

Omg I hate HATE people how don't have manners so fucking annoying . I mean come on how hard is it to say PLEASE ? Not so hard ! And seriously don't be a bitch when someone says no to something you demand ! News flash bitch , you're not the fucking ruler of the world ! Understand ? Don't be so demanding when a girl is on her fucking period . You're so annoying . Sometimes I just wanna slap you in the face and teach you some manners and I think it's funny how you complain about people who don't have manners. Well look who's talking . Hmph .

No longer ,

Tell me ... whats the definition of trust ? Honestly , i dont know if i can trust anyone anymore . There's a few people that have been there from the start but they're starting to fade away . Trust is slipping away from my vocabulary . I'm usually straight up and open but lately i've been hidden and isolated . What am i to do when i feel as if no one could understand me ? What am i to do when i begin to have second thoughts about EVERYONE and everything . I no longer have the urge to open up anymore , to anyone not a soul . I no longer hunger for my use to be best friends to come back to me . I realized they arent here for a reason , whatever that reason is , but as long as my truest friend stays that way . I wont need anyone but her .

Small , random thought .

Sometimes letting go sounds nice . Sometimes getting high sounds great . Sometimes not giving a care in the world and doing whatever sounds fantastic . But when you know you can't do that cause you're kinda like on lock down . Like when you know if you let go , things will be horrible . When you get high anything could happen , unless you lock yourself in a room with nothing dangerous inside . And for me its hard to not care . Hmm , lame .

choosing correctly .

Nowadays people just dont know when to act real and other people dont know how what group of people to stay close to and not to . Fucking sad , dont you think ? I know so . Stay with the right type of group so you dont get into stupid shit . No matter how many times i would tell you to fucking let it go you wont listen and im beginning to think you never will . Because youre just you . Youre indecisive , bipolar , and totally stubborn . The hell , you may be smart but not as smart as you think you are . One day youre gonna regret not listening to me , but its okay . Its not my problem and wont ever be . Hah , because i know the right group of people to hang out with .

Nothing lasts forever not even memories .

Sometimes its nice to sit back and reminisce the past but other times not so much . Its nice to think about all the good times you had and all the experiences you had with friends , family , etc . But when a good memory leads to a bad one.. dang then thats when all the memories you dont want to think about pop up and it just makes you want to isolate yourself from the world and drown yourself in tears . Thinking of the close friends you had , family members that arent there anymore , the relationship between you and someone else , a pet , anything pretty much even a tiny, tiny promise . what am i to do when every small thing reminds me of you . Reminds me that you were one of those few people i use to run to all the time and pour my heart out to ? But i can never depend on anyone to keep my whole life together for me because i know that slowly .. they all fade away . Many people have proven to me that forever doesnt last forever and yes , you are one of them . But only one person out of all of them matter most . That one persons action proved that forever is a lie and their actions mean so much to me . Yeah , you say that "its the past it doesnt mean anything anymore." maybe not to you , but to me it means alot . Because without a past , who the hell are you ? You can never erase the past because memories last the longest out of everything but not forever . You can forget all your memories but other people involved in those memories wont but soon they'll vanish . Remember those promises that involved forever ? Prove me wrong again and show me that something can last forever , but first , you have to tell me how long is forever to you ?

lefty ,

WOWWWWWWWW . i think thats helllaaaaa sad . you and me have been through the toughest of times and you end up letting this friendship go ? WOW . you know if you really want to let this go then fine . im done with your drama anyways . you are that one person that i put the most effort into BUT YOU DONT NOTICE . its funny how you think i treat you like shit compared to everyone else but noo thats not true . i treat you like i would treat my brother . i joke, you just need to stop taking it up the ass . from the start when i met you its been a crazy roller coaster but i decide to put up with it because i was determined. determined to change you into the better person i know you are . even your dad said he sees a change in you . but why is it that you have to get involved with the wrong people at the wrong time . youre ruining your life and its pissing me off cause i dont want to see you like this ! no one deserves to have a life like this even if they sinned many many times , but you are just making life worse . STOP BEING STUPID AND START THINKING ! because you can just go on life without me because i give up !