FML .

WOW , WOW . WOOOOW . FUCKMYLIFE. My dad thinks im really stupid . Excuse me ? Thanks alot -.- Thanks dad jsut cause your birthday is tomorrow doesnt mean you have the right to put me down . Thanks for supporting me and encouraging me and calling me stupid; thinking ill post exposing ass pics of myself to show the world and let myself get raped. You encourage me to slap you because im not fucking retarded. Im smarter than most girls my age but you dont fucking realize this shit -.- Cause to you im a worthless helpless stupid girl . YOU RAISED ME TO BE MORE THAN THAT AND SO DID MY BROTHER. What the fuck , Thanks a lot& happy birthday ass -.-

&btw ; for all those other fucking time you put me down .. YOURE A BITCH. Have a heart -.-

Bakersfield , Cali ;

Yeee, just got back from cali . Yesterday , I went to a wedding it was hellla boring . Until it came to the dinner reception . Hah , now that was interesting . It was hella cute tho cos all these couples dancing and and stuff . &the bride was really pretty :D . She looked all happy (; . My brother and i stole full/half full wine bottles ;D it was pretty funny our parents were like cracking up saying "genius" >;D But yeah it was nice seeing the family . &meeting the new members . The trip was relaxing i guess (:

Someone special ?

I always thought i was someone special to him. I mean even if it was just a little bit, but guess what ? Nope, i was wrong . :[ Wasnt ever anyone special . :/ Ugh how disappointing . Even tho it might be bs and there might be a chance i was.. it still hurts to hear it come out of someones mouth . Woooow , fml . Love isnt for me . ><

SUPPORT AJ RAFAEL ! <3

Fathers day ,

since today is fathers day i wanna share one of Aj's videos that he made for fathers day last year. i think its really touching <3.


Listening to this song makes me think about how great dads are and how much they love their kids . &It makes me think about how much my dad cares even though he does things that i dislike i know he only does it cause he cares. &my dad has been through so much just to try to keep our family together and healthy. Im thankful to have a father that shows that he cares every second of the day. My dad and i have been through alot of shit . We've argued many many times and he has threatened to hit but has never because i know he loves me to much to do that . He only threatens me because thats all he can do but he would never . I remember back in cali , every time i had an asthma attack he was always the first to notice and to call 911. He stuck by my side every time i was in the hospital . &he also quit smoking for me when i was just a baby . He would work his ass off just so that my family could get by on the bills and stuff. &he has succeeded this goal. If he didnt work his ass off our family would not be living in this house& we wouldnt get things we want(even though i dont get half the things i want but its okay lol). The point is, my father loves me (: LOL, i sound like a loser but yeah. &im most thankful to have him and i LOVE him with everything <3.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY ! <3

Best i ever had ,

Wow , today was wow . I wasnt expecting to see him today . &when i did i just wanted to die :/ . Every time i see you, memories of us would pop up and i just start to hope you dont notice me or say anything to me but at the same time i want you to . :[ , its hard because youre my favorite past time . ugh , i just wish the type of friendship we have now isnt like this . :/ i wish it was better . You showed me a whole different world when it was us . You showed me a lot and taught me so much. its hard to forget something like that . The feelings i cant forget.. To me you were an important memory but what am i to you ? i just wanna know that . Sometimes i randomly question that cause you pop in my head every now and then . Im pretty sure you barely ever think of me only when you see me . :[ I hate this .. i want to say i hate you but i dont . i hate your actions . But past is past .. i need to stop looking at the past and focus on the present and the future that awaits me . :/ I just wish one day you would answer all these questions in my head .. even if those answers will hurt me more than you did that one day . i would still want to know .

Peeejay 2 !

this guy is the biggest dork <3

THE FUCK .

You know whatttttttttt , people can be full of bullshit . -.- BULLLLLL FUCKING SHIT . Dumb bitch . Seriously , people need to learn how to keep their word . Im speechless and tired of that bulll you always tell me . JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP & never say shit . EVER ! -.-

Boring summer days ,

Boring summer days feel like they last FOREVER ... until you come across videos like this on YOUTUBEEEEEE ! >;D I mean not to make fun of him he can sing its just the way he does it makes me laugh . :D




LMFAO LMFAO ! WATCH THE ENDING ! YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE ENDING !

its a bestfriend typa thing <3 ;

BEST FRIEND BEST FRIEND . it feels so FUCKING GOOD TO CALL SOMEONE THAT . <3 you dont know . When you have a true best friend you will know cause the feeling just hits you. The feeling is overwhelming . like i cant even explain . there arent words to explain my emotions towards my best friends <3 ima leave it to that . i love you guys ♥

Everyone is a hypocrite ,

&that includes my mother . Im also a hypocrite , everyone is , but seriously the BIGGEST hypocrites piss me off . Like the most stupid &biggest hypocrites just need to go die i swear . My mom comes in my room this morning and blabbers on about how im so materialistic and shit . LIKE WTFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ! reality check mum , you are WAY MORE materialistic than i could ever be . You and your fancy car , diamond rings , diamond earrings , diamond necklace , expensive purses . EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IS LIKE MORE THAN 100 DOLLARS ! >< & YOURE CALLING ME MATERIALISTIC ? MUM , NOT EVEN CLOSE . &then she blabber on again and she takes my new purse i bought and goes over to my dad and says "youre daughter is such a hoe . she just bought another purse when she just got one ." (excuse me , this is like the SECOND PURSE i bought and i bought the other one like 3 months ago ! while you have 39458403953049854 purses) Mum i lvoe you but seriously DONT FUCKING CALL ME A HOE . &then she GOES through my purse and takes out my wallet . -.- LOOKS THROUGH MY MONEY ! THAT DRAWS THE LINE . niggah shit -.- . So many things my mother does that pisses me off . this is just one of them . I LOVE YOU TOO MOTHER , btw thanks for calling me a hoe when im nothing close to that . >:[

Listen to those words .

Listen to these lyrics from Aj's video .


why couldn't i just kiss those lips
i'd rather be rejected than regretting this
im tired of being afraid
i wish i coulda made
the choice to be the daring one in this relationship

i know were just friends but i want you to know
that i always think about being more
i guess i'll never know x2
how you feel
you got me wonderin'

i want you to be that somebody who
needs me just like how im needing you
but im just so scared
i could not prepare
for the moment when i looked you in the eyes

so i guess i'll just wait for that afternoon
we'll soak up the sun in the middle of june
i can't ask you to wait but you know that i can't stay
i'm a little too late
but you got me wonderin'

i'm holding on to this feeling i have
i've got it so bad i just cant shake it off
when will my mind just be clear
of this move i should've made
its killing me cuz kissing you
is what i wanna do

but now that youve got that somebody new
needs you just like how im needing you
i guess i'll fade away
and now my skies are gray
i'm a little too late
you've got me wonderin
This song i can honestly relate to in so MANY ways . &i thought i just would like to share with you guys . Havent you guys ever wanted someone so baddd but theres always SOMETHING that holds you back . Either , they already like someone , have someone , think you guys are just friends , they just dont like you at all , youre just too much of a big pussy to make a move , etc. my gosh, life is harsh . But , yeah .. so like im recently in a situation like Aj says in the beginning of his song . "why couldn't i just kiss those lips. i'd rather be rejected than regretting this. im tired of being afraid. i wish i coulda made the choice to be the daring one in this relationship. i know were just friends but i want you to know that i always think about being more. i guess i'll never know how you feel. you got me wonderin'" Like you guys dont even know . So many chances were given and im like "DO ITTTTT " BUT NOO . theres always a reason holding me back and everytime a chance is given the reason is different . >:[ Pretty lame if you ask me . Im stumped . Im usually really good at helping and giving advise with life and love and shit but i can never help myself >< . Guys confuse the shit out of me . :/ I gotta admit , when it comes to someone i like i become a big loser . I blush & turn super shy ... if i really like this guy and i like become a turtle and i hide in my shell . &im usually not like that . AHHH SHITTTTTT . D;

Peeejayyyyy ,

Okay , so this niggah Peeejay is the cutest guy in the WORLD . <3 Im glad we started to talk and stuff hah . Like everything you do is so adorable . &i just HAVE TO SHARE THIS WITH THE WORLD. Even though the video just says hi and stuff it was super cute and it made my day x) i LOVE YOU BESTFRIEND PEEJAY ! :)


↑ WHAT A DORK ! ♥

life is wonderful <3

Seriously , life has actually been going pretty good for me . <3 Im enjoying life and i decided not to worry . Ever since that talk with my best friend everything is all goood . :] Yeee , FUCK the BULLSHIT . (: Lets fucking live ! :D

Eww yuck yuck ,

You DISGUST ME . NASTY girls . Have some dignity ! PLEASE ! I feel sorry for you pathetic girls . Honestly tho, i really dont care because its your life and youre the one putting yourself into this stuff. HAHAHAHA , when i see girls like you walking around it makes me LAUGH . Girls like you dont go far and dont know where they are even heading towards . Get your shit straight and then tell people that youre smart , even if you have the brains you will still NEVER be smart you would have the potential, but never smart because any girl who goes around giving herself away is most certainly not smart just worthless and its sad . Tell me , why do girls do this ? Do they feel like the need more attention ? Do the feel like when they expose more skin theyll be more attractive ? Theyll get more guys that way ? Oh my . I may sound like a mom or something but i just open my eyes to the world and actually notice whats going on in this unrealistic and ridiculous world. Stop being pathetic , do everyone that one favor.

aweeee shucks ,

man , sometimes those memories pop in my head and i start to miss you so much . HA, those good days . Random phone calls , late night talks , long warm hugs , folded up pants , perverted ass jokes , just being you . omg , i miss you . i remember that very first day i met you, 3 years ago , your best friend came up to my best friend and whispered something into her ear. she then tells me "___ has a friend that thinks your cute." and im like O.O . i got all shy and shit , i mean i come on ! i wasnt even matching that day and i had no idea who you were xD then we were introduced . and it was cute cause you were also very shy. We ended up getting hella close and the type of bond we had NO ONE would understand . feb. came up , that i would say was our month. Everything happened then , your birthday , my birthday , that dance , that song , those words , those feelings , those calls , all brought me closer to you. So many chances were given and none were taken , but you still stuck by me through everything.

I dont need many words to explain you and how you made me feel . its simple; you ... are amazing . &i am a fool .

i hate you .

i am furious about being sick for so long . i am irritated that this medicine doesnt help much . i am annoyed of being stuck in this house . i am tired of coughing 39085204398502495 times a day . i WANT to MURDER SOMEONE . i hate viruses and bacteria . they make life so much harder then it is . when i cough i feel like ima cough up my guts . -.- its been tooo long that i have been sick and im going insane . stupid sickness , i HATE YOU and i have to tell the world . i EVEN TOLD MYSPACE .


YOU ASSHOLES DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. YOU GUYS CAN GO DIE . i STRONGLY MEAN IT ! >:O